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[john]

Lots to say on the subject, but all I can offer is my opinion based on my own experiences. I cant ...and wouldnt say what others would or would not do.....I have plenty of guy friends , but more female friends. Ive just always related better to the fairer sex..( in person, by mail...etc ) I say you just have to be honest to yourself, your spouse and to whom you are friends with. You cannot betray anyone that way. Ive been married 25 years this June using that approach to relationships.

Cheers girls. Keep up the great show

[G2G Bay]

I totally agree with John -- of *course* men and women can be friends. And what's more I think we *should* be friends with the opposite sex. I have had many, many friends who were guys over the years, and I think they're really quite a lot of fun as long as they're not watching football. Whoops, personal opinion there.

Seriously. Men & women -- friends, of course!

By the way --- this is kind of on topic -- I thought it was interesting that you asked about friendships that turn into something stronger. I have always thought that is a wonderful concept -- if you can really be just friends with someone and then fall in love after already doing the "friends" thing -- that must be so nice. As it happens, none of my serious relationships started out as "friends only". For me, it was always intense attraction & flirtation that moved rapidly into something stronger.

Except my husband. (And keep in mind, we just celebrated our 20th anniversary, woo hoo!) My husband -- *him*, I met at play practice and immediately thought, "Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!"

I was wrong that time.



--Bay
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[Diva Carrie]

You're both awesome ~ Thanks for sharing!

C
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[john]

Youre right Carrie...we are awesome..


quote="Diva Carrie"]You're both awesome ~ Thanks for sharing!

C[/quote]

[Diva Carrie]

From a Diva Listener with permission to post if she remains nameless

My thoughts on this topic have definitely changed over time. When I was in my early 20s, I had a large group of friends that was both guys and girls. I developed a strong friendship with one of the guys, Chris, and was very happy and content with our friendship. I never had feelings for him in "that way". I used to argue the side of Yes, you can be friends with guys and nothing ever happen, look at me and Chris! I had a great time with him and never thought twice about our friendship.

One night, Chris broke down and told me his feelings for me, told me he loved me and always had, and he couldn't go another day without me knowing. Ladies, I cried more that night and week then I had over any silly little boyfriend I had broken up with. I knew I lost my one of my best friends and things would never be the same. And it wasn't. I couldn't continue being myself around him and had to second guess everything I said to him, the way I acted around him. I didn't want to lead him on. I didn't want to hurt him. I don't know if distancing myself from him hurt him more, or made it easier for him to get over me.

After this, I didn't think I could be friends with a guy like that again. I didn't want another friendship to come to heartbreak again. So instead, I concentrated on my female friendships and now I do not feel that I am missing anything by not having any male friends like I had before.

I know some girls that will tell me its possible, you can be friends with a guy and this not happen. When they tell me this, I always catch myself looking into their friendships and wondering which one has feelings for the other. I wonder how long they can remain friends. I have become skeptical of CLOSE male/female friendships because of my one experience. But, I do think men and women can be friends, just not on the "best friend" level. Not the way you can when you are younger....

Also, my other feedback was that I didnt want to post on the forums because I didn't want to offend.....the show (is that what they are called? or episode?) ...the interview with your belly dancer friend was not my favorite. I don't know if it was because I wasn't used to another person being there, it wasn't something that interested me personally, or what it was! Just wasn't my cup of tea.

Oh, did I ever tell you I am a Sagittarius ...honest and straight-forward ☺ Can you tell??

One more thing and then I'm off - I reconnected with an old friend I had a fall out with a few years back and I feel like I have you to thank for it! It is a weight lifted off of my shoulders and even though our friendship is not the same, its OK, because we are both more mature and its like having a new friend!

Thanks again for making my commute more entertaining and for being friends in my head!
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[Shannon]

I think that here in the states, it is almost taboo. My ex-husband would never have tolerated a male friend. He would always tell me that every male wanted me. I guess I was out in la-la land about that. However, I did have male friends at work. So, here I am alone and he has a 'friend' that he 'bonded' with - - on a mission trip!
In Europe, friendship is truly a friendship. People are more direct.
I have had male friends since I was in grade school. I think that, if you are interested in the same things, it makes sense to be friends. But, I also think that you need to set boundaries within that friendship. And, that is true across genders.
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[Diva Sharon]

Shannon,
Thanks for sharing. As I have grown older, i too realize it's just not possible for men and women to be "close" for a long period of time without some sort of involvement. Again, it may be from just one side but it's there. We have heard from many and it's almost inevitable. With that said several comments have also included they are able to get back to being just friends if the romantic stuff turned out badly.
I hope you find someone that will appreciate you and treasure you for who you are.
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[Diva Carrie]

How can it be we've had over 300 people view this thread, but so little feedback...sure wish we could hear what these "private" viewers are thinking...
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[BMWdr]

OK - well I think I need to get back to work and stop reading this thread!
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[msh60]

i don't know if men and women can just be friends.....as a teen I always found it easier to relate to guys. As a forty-something, I do have 4 , no 5 very good and close female friends. I also have male friends, but am definitely closer to the female ones. I'm happily married, don't know if that makes any difference....an intriguing topic to be sure. I do know that when it comes high school reunion time, I'll gladly spend all my time with the guys in my class and not the girls.....and I don't think I'm looking for more than friendship.

[JamesSimon]

yes they can be friends. but i dont think you specified the question, you know there are boundaries with friends, but occasionally friends become sexual partners, but still friends and not lovers.

so, with that being said, yes they are friends, but with certain boundaries that are being crossed.
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[danieljones2006]

Yup opposite sex can be good friends but you never know, a spark between two opposite sexes may easily ruin the friendship.